Another old one from my Hiram days…

It’s Better Than Sex

That’s an intriguing idea. But if true –
Why so many new feet on the wheel, and
Why so many new shoes?
Why the millions in health club dues?
Why the millions for mouthwash,
Deodorant, and facial goo’s?

If there is anything better than sex,
Then where’s our patent, our shares, our cash?
We’ll export to the third world market, you bet,
Our better-than-sex, anti-procreation gas.

Me thinks the truth is very clear; it’s plain.
Those who make this questionable claim –
Are the very same ones who can’t get laid.

–LE – circa 1988