Reevaluating Assumptions – Memoir Addendum

I’ve noticed that as I’ve aged, I tend to reevaluate my assumptions more frequently than ever before. That includes trying to puzzle mine into the greater zeitgeist. I wonder if others find this a common experience.

Is everything I assume to be true actually true, or is it all just assumptions, fads of our place in space/time? I’m well aware of Nietzsche’s maxim that there are no facts, only interpretations, and that the interpretations that prevail are functions of power, not truth. That idea nags at me as I try to reevaluate my own and what I perceive to be society’s current assumptions.

As for society’s assumptions, I’m sure Nietzche’s maxim applies. But mine are derived from my historical baggage, ancient and recent, plus my education in the ‘halls of society’s mandarins’, our civilization’s gatekeepers. 

I suspect that I’m reevaluating more as I age because my perceptions continue to age and change with each revolution of old Sol. My eyesight isn’t as crystal clear as in my youth, my ego, fictional as it may be, is less arrogantly certain of its convictions, based on all my mistakes, and my inability to predict anything, even remotely accurately of my life’s progression over time, or anyone else’s, much less society’s or the planet’s.

Anger:

People used to accuse me of being angry all the time. I rejected the idea because I seldom felt ‘anger’, as I traditionally defined it. It’s true that I frequently felt irritated (in fact it’s been a rather chronic condition of my life as far back as I can remember), but I didn’t consider irritation to be anger. But perhaps that’s just semantics to cover denial. It seems that even in my old age, I find myself more irritated than I’d like on a daily basis.

Happiness (a warm and soothing state of mind): 

To me, ‘happiness’ was something to strive for, that would arrive when I was deserving, and not before. Now, it seems to me that happiness is always present, just needing one to accept and embrace it, letting doubts and expectation evaporate in its radiant warmth.

Certainty (another mental state – and probably false):

I was once certain of the teachings of ancient wisdoms, then of science, and then of the combination thereof. I’m not so certain any more. My life and experience have taught me to be ‘certain’ of nothing, other than that I was born and that I will eventually die, sooner than later.

Death (a physical/mental reality):

No matter how often I consider death, it’s clear to me that we, as humans, do not understand it any more than we understand all the nuances of the universe or multiverse or metaverse or whatever… Of course we arrogantly espouse our speculations about it as if they were true facts. What we actually know is that the ‘life-force’ leaves the body, which degrades into constituent parts, feeding the biodiverse ecology of Mother Earth. We don’t know what happens to our consciousness, regardless of religious and mystical claims. We embrace the scientific observation that energy/matter cannot be created, nor destroyed, but only transformed from one to the other, back and forth. There’s no good reason to assume the same is true of consciousness, unless one grants that the whole universe is an ocean of consciousness that we, like waves, ebb and flow. And here I go speculating on the matter too… But understand that it’s merely speculation, not fact nor truth…; -)

Good Intentions:

They say the road to hell is paved with them. It’s not because they are inherently bad, but rather because they are merely subjective, would’a, should’a, could’a type subjective ideas. They’re potential energy, which may be released in the form of action, but which seldom is… potential action, just not actual physical, material action. Intent is way overrated (imho). Besides, most of our actions are of the reactive varieties. We very seldom have the opportunity to activate any of our so-called ‘intentions’.

–LE – 12/8/24