Love and Marriage
There’s a thin line
Between love and hate
That sometimes fades
Or blurs with time…
Can become
Full-blown
Ending in crime
But take a chance
Make a split?
Better the devil
You know than…
Based in fear
Lives seared
With vendettas
And feuds
That sometimes
Make the news
Love and marriage…
Goes together like a
Horse and carriage…
–Frank Sinatra
What’s love got to
Do with it
Got to do with it…
What’s love but a
Secondhand emotion…
–Tina Turner
–LE – 8/23/25
Commentary:
I was reminded by a movie I recently saw that the idea of marriage for love is a relatively modern idea. Through most of history, marriage was transactional. You give me a cow or a horse, and I’ll give you my daughter in marriage.
Then, there was the cementing of alliances, wealth, and power through strategic marriages. In the height of misogyny, when sons were ‘more desirable’ the value of daughters was increased by the size of the dowry a father would deliver with her, trying to attract suitable, eligible grooms with higher social standings…
In some societies, the second or third son of an important family would be required to marry a girl from a family of lesser standing to raise that portion of the community a bit.
And that doesn’t even take into account non-traditional marriages that abound today…
So, is marriage even necessary anymore, or just a social control, as always?
CynOp 
4 responses to “Love and Marriage”
If I had my life to live over again, I think I would never have married…knowing what I know now. I don’t think I’d even live with anyone.
I can’t speak for how men feel, just women in general and me in particular, but it seems as if when you marry, the man gradually turns everything over to you. Like he wants you to be his mother. That’s when the “in love” dies.
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I sympathize, but my experience with marriage (relationships) has been the opposite. I’ve always been the one who did most of the cooking and cleanup, all the ‘heavy work’ and even now whatever chauffeuring is needed. For most of my relationships, I’ve felt more like a work mule than an actual ‘partner’ in it. But in spite of that, I would probably do it again even knowing what I do now…; -)
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After so many years of doing it, I’m tired of being not only a work mule, but also the one who handles finances, doctor’s appointments, anything that involves making a phone call, getting together and making sure meds are taken…the list is endless. I know this doesn’t always fall on the woman’s shoulders, but it shouldn’t be up to just one in a relationship to run the entire show when both are capable. It’s exhausting, and can make a person resentful and wishing for independence.
Evidently, you’re a better person than I.
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I disagree. There is nothing wrong with you or your rightfully earned opinions on marriage and relationships. They are the result of your own personal experience. I’m no better than anyone else. I just have different perspectives based on my experience, which, regardless of some similarities between our relationship roles, is quite different. For one, I’ve accepted my roles willingly. Don’t get me wrong, I can be a real prick when provoked, but decades of MA training to master my temper and other feelings has given me an edge that I’m sure you never had. Trust me, I’m not a better person than you or anyone else, just (perhaps) a bit more self-controlled… Sometimes, that makes all the difference… and sometimes it doesn’t help a bit…; -)
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