Jailbird Caper

Riding down the road one fine summer morning in my ’65 GTO convertible (black on red and a little 389 with a quad), my brother riding shotgun; we were about to turn onto the freeway entrance ramp when the air was split by the local donut-boy’s siren. I immediately pulled off and waited for the inevitable ticket (supposedly 52 in a 40 zone). I got quite a few back then … must be something I said…

At that time, you didn’t have to really break any traffic laws to get stopped, just drive a certain type of car and look even a little freaky. We were wearing faded jeans and T’s. We’d painted flowers all over our jeans with colored markers. I sported a ponytail, goatee, and shades; My brother was similarly quaffed. The dough boy strutted up looking like he just graduated piggy boot camp.

I had learned long before to just be courteous, take my ticket and argue in court, but my brother, being younger by a couple of years of experience couldn’t keep his mouth shut, started badmouthing the cop, pointing out his oinkishness, stupidity, apparent blindness and/or prejudice as well. So, do you think the cop let me go with my crisp new ticket? Think again. He had no good excuses to jail my brother, so he arrested me, impounded my car, and made me sit in jail until my brother called around and got one of our uncles, who lived in the next town, to come over and bail me out.

When osifer whats-his-face slammed me in the clink, he confiscated my belt (presumably so I couldn’t hang myself), my glasses (so I couldn’t cut my wrists?), and my shoes (I guess so I couldn’t club myself to death) over a lousy TRAFFIC TICKET!!

I was released once my uncle finally got home from work and was able to get over to the jail. And later, my case was dismissed once the judge confirmed from the arresting excuse for an osifer (and his cohorts) that my version of the events was essentially accurate.

But I still got stuck in that dank jail for an afternoon/evening…yuk…and thanks, brother. I was really surprised he didn’t end up in there with me, as I later learned that he had harassed the little piggy almost the whole time till my uncle finally arrived… they eventually made him wait outside the jailhouse – go figure…

Perhaps next time I’ll describe my night in the tank on Put-in Bay. But then again, maybe not…

–LE